


Luciferous

by thesammtimes



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Gen, Hybrids, basically chanyeol is a dog and suho is way in over his head
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 04:11:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14633805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesammtimes/pseuds/thesammtimes
Summary: This is just....a mess.





	1. One

Joonmyeon was a simple man. He led a simple life, worked hard through school to get a good job, worked hard at the job to move up to a respectable position, and lived in the nicer part of the city in a lovely apartment. He was content, happy with what he had done with his life. He wasn’t a proud man, just a very simple and content one. 

So how he ended up adopting the world’s tallest and dumbest dog hybrid that has ever existed is still a mystery to him.

He should have never taken the new way home from work, walking by the pet shop where they line them up in the window in a way that gets under Joonmyeon’s skin. They are still half-human, he didn’t think it was right to treat them like mindless beasts. Sadly, with the creation of animal hybrids; that’s exactly what most humans do. 

To adopt and own a hybrid is to show your class in society. You’re rich enough to own one of these “rare breeds of animals” so you must be “high class”. 

Joonmyeon hated it. He didn’t like the way the hybrids were treated from the get-go, so he swore he would never own one as his own way to reject the system.

But the new pet store…

They were lining them up in the window and the owner was being particularly brutal to the tallest. He was tall, lanky, and so awkward. He couldn’t stand still for a second and it was making the others get rowdy. He had pretty brown eyes and ridiculously large eyes that were incredibly endearing. His tail was fluffy and wagging into everything in it’s path; he was obviously just a happy go-lucky kind of pup and the store owner was having none of it.

She hit him.

Joonmyeon was in the store before he had another thought and was soon staring the woman in the eyes with the angriest face he could muster. “I ought to report you for animal abuse!” He snapped.

The woman laughed, “Good luck. Half the time these half-breeds can’t find a home they just throw them in the streets. I’m all they’ve got.”

Joonmyeon was floored, not only at how cold-hearted she was, but society as a whole. Were they not half human? Did they not have feelings and emotions as well?

He glared at the woman, “How much?”

She scoffed, “For the tall one? You can’t afford it.”

Joonmyeon had never been more angry in his life. He marched forward to the woman, and despite his rather short height, he still looked down at her. “Excuse me? Do you know what my bank account looks like? Try again.” He pointed to the lanky hybrid who was watching the entire event with curious eyes. “How much is he?”

When the woman spouted out her price Joonmyeon almost left. He knew she was giving him a hard time, but one look into the giant’s big brown eyes had him swaying. He talked her down a bit before filling out the paperwork and walking his new hybrid home with him.

It wasn’t until they got into Joonmyeon’s apartment did the severity of the situation dawn on him. He dropped into the couch in shock, looking up at the dog hybrid who was taking in the apartment very slowly. “Do you have a name?” He asked him.

The hybrid looked over to him and ran, literally ran to Joonmyeon’s side on the couch. He dove to the floor into a sitting position, knocking his arm into the coffee table, almost knocking over the coffee mug Joonmyeon had left behind that morning. “They called me Chanyeol.” He told him happily.

Joonmyeon smiled and Chanyeol’s tail started up a mile a minute. Swinging along the wood floor, fluttering dust bunnies around that Joonmyeon hadn’t even realized were there. “Chanyeol. Do you want to keep that name?”

Chanyeol nodded fervently with a wide grin. He was adorable, but Joonmyeon soon realized he may have made a terrible mistake.

Chanyeol was enormous. Standing above six feet, at least, the hybrid was clumsy and long. His tail was too strong for the amount of wagging it did, and he knocked over most things that he stood near.

He hovered. A lot. Joonmyeon could feel the heat of Chanyeol’s chest against his back while he stood in the kitchen and made them both dinner. Chanyeol seemed interested in eating anything, given the chance. He walked everywhere Joonmyeon walked, and even sat in front of the bathroom waiting for him to do his business before continuing to follow him everywhere.

He had way too much energy. Joonmyeon was fit, he enjoyed his time in the gym and making his body look muscular. However, with Chanyeol he realized he should consider adding cardio to the list of things in his regimen. Chanyeol was constantly getting into everything. 

He was clumsy. He broke everything he touched, even just walking his dishes to the sink, he dropped the plate into the sink too hard and cracked it. 

He snored and insisted on sharing the bed. Joonmyeon told Chanyeol he’d buy him his own bed the first night, and made the giant hybrid a make-shift bed on the couch. Chanyeol said it was fine, but Joonmyeon could see the dejection in his eyes. He wasn’t used to sharing anything, let alone his bed. So when he woke up to the distinct sound of snoring and Chanyeol’s ears against his bare neck, he was startled. Somehow Chanyeol had curled in on himself, burrowing his way under Joonmyeon’s blankets and arm, pressing his head to Joonmyeon’s chest.

There was no getting him out of the bed after that.

Joonmyeon was a patient man. More patient than most, but Chanyeol tried his patience every day. He soon realized that leaving him home alone during the work day without a way to contact him was a bad decision. Chanyeol had separation anxiety and the first day Joonmyeon was gone the Hybrid had somehow destroyed an entire cushion of the leather couch.

He wanted to be angry, wanted to scold him, but one wide-eyed look from Chanyeol had Joonmyeon caving in immeidately.

He was stuck. He was soft and easily won over by the giant hybrid with fluffy ears and tail; and brown eyes that knew how to get their way.

And that’s how Joonmyeon ended up with Chanyeol, new pet, new friend, and new annoyance in his life.  
______

“Does human hair-dye work on my hair?” Chanyeol walked into Joonmyeon’s office in his apartment with determination.

“What was on t.v., Chanyeol?” Joonmyeon asked him, learning to get to the bottom of Chanyeol’s antics after months of living with him.

“That’s not important. Answer the question.”

Joonmyeon was only half-listening, busy getting some work done on his computer while his hybrid paced nervously behind him. “It’s more important than you realize…” He responded.

Chanyeol huffed, “Just answer the question!”

“Probably, but we’re not dying your hair.”

Chanyeol whined, full-fledged dog whine and fell to the floor in a heap. “You didn’t even ask me why!”

Joonmyeon shut his eyes, taking a deep breath before spinning his computer chair around to look down at his too-big dog hybrid who was literally tossing around on the floor like a child. “Why?”

Chanyeol stopped, sitting up he looked at Joonmyeon with bright eyes, “Hybrid-idols.”

Joonmyeon blinked, “Excuse me?”

“Hybrid idols. We sing and dance but we’re cuter because we have ears and tails.”

“Chanyeol, I’ve heard you sing. You always end up howling.” Joonmyeon turned back around, dismissing the situation, “Besides, you’re the clumsiest hybrid I’ve ever seen you think you can dance?”

Another scoff, “Fine. I guess you don’t care what color I wanted my hair.”

“Correct.”

“You’re the worst.”


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chanyeol was making sure to sit on every piece of Joonmyeon’s furniture without pants.
> 
> He was naked.
> 
> He was rubbing his fucking balls on stuff.

Chanyeol was a marker.

It drove Joonmyeon absolutely crazy. He had never even realized it could be such a problem. 

Chanyeol was hardly an alpha. Joonmyeon introduced him to his best friend Yixing’s dog hybrid Baekhyun; and Baekhyun backed Chanyeol into a corner and had him on his back in seconds.

The two of them were instantly best friends.

Regardless of his submissive tendencies, Chanyeol liked to act as though he was the most dominant hybrid that ever walked the earth. He rubbed himself on everything, at first Joonmyeon would joke he was a cat not a dog, but then it got weird.

Chanyeol was making sure to sit on every piece of Joonmyeon’s furniture without pants.

He was naked.

He was rubbing his fucking balls on stuff.

Joonmyeon first noticed it when he came home from work to find Chanyeol passed out and naked on his couch. Chanyeol was more limbs than he was anything else, his long legs were draped apart, one foot on the floor, the other on the back of the couch.

“Jesus Christ, Chanyeol.” Joonmyeon mumbled angrily, grabbing the blanket that had fallen to the floor and tossing it into the hybrid’s lap. “At least put on pants, what if I brought someone home!”

Chanyeol, barely stirring from his owner’s return, blinked lazily up at him and snorted, “As if you ever bring someone home.”

The next morning while Joonmyeon was making breakfast, Chanyeol came in the second he smelled something. Joonmyeon thought nothing of it, Chanyeol was a simple breed. Food was one of his love languages, and Joonmyeon was an amazing cook. So he didn't noticed Chanyeol roaming around his kitchen in just a t-shirt and nothing more. He was focusing on not burning the eggs when Chanyeol hopped his pancake ass on the counter next to the stove.

It was then Joonmyeon noticed that he wasn't wearing any pants. His bare thighs were exposed as he swung his lengthy legs back and forth against the cabinets below.

Joonmyeon glared at his hybrid, “Chanyeol are your balls seriously sitting on my kitchen counter right now?”

Chanyeol paused his kicking and looked down, as if he hadn't noticed his lack of clothing before that exact moment.

Joonmyeon lifted the spatula and smacked Chanyeol’s thigh. Not hard, but enough to sting and cause the giant baby to yelp in pain. His bottom lip jutted out and quivered and he jumped off the counter in a huff.

“Well you didn't have to hit me!” He whimpered, sniffing back his tears and running off.

Great, now Joonmyeon felt guilty. He stared down at the stove with a scowl; and he burnt the eggs.  
_____

“Am I gay?”

Joonmyeon choked on his coffee and looked up at Chanyeol in confusion. “Excuse me?”

Chanyeol sat down, a frown on his lips, “Am I gay?”

Joonmyeon didn’t know how to even begin to answer his hybrid’s question. “I don’t think I can tell you that? I mean, technically you’re a male, but you’re a hybrid so are you bred to be attracted to certain species, let alone genders?”

Chanyeol sighed and laid his cheek flat on the dining room table. “This is a conundrum.”

Joonmyeon’s eyes widened before a thought occurred to him, “Are you reading the dictionary again?” He asked Chanyeol.

Chanyeol sighed heavily and closed his eyes, “What does it matter? What is the meaning of life? Am I gay? Is the sky really blue or are our eyes playing tricks on us?”

Joonmyeon watched his hybrid carefully, he decided to try one question at a time. “Well, are you attracted to hybrids?”

“Yes.”

“Are you attracted to humans?”

“Yes.”

“Are you attracted to male humans?”

“Yes.”

“Are you attracted to female humans?”

“Yes.”

“Have you had sex with my couch?”

“Yes.”

“I KNEW IT! DAMMIT, CHANYEOL!”

Chanyeol sat up and both palms fell flat to the surface of the table with a smack. “I CAN’T HELP IT I’M SO HORNY ALL THE TIME WHO ELSE IS LIKE THIS?”

Joonmyeon placed his face in his palms, “I don’t know? Most dogs just hump stuff a lot, especially the males.”

Chanyeol let out a whine and got up from the table, “I’m taking a nap. Hold my calls.”

Joonmyeon turned his attention back to his coffee and frowned, “What calls?” He shook his head, Chanyeol was impossible.

An hour later Chanyeol came running into the room happy as can be, a smile on his face, ears perked up straight, tail wagging behind him. He plopped onto the floor and rubbed his face on Joonmyeon’s leg. “I feel better now thanks.”

“You took a nap?” Joonmyeon asked as he scrolled through his work e-mails.

“No, I took a poop.” Chanyeol told him with a smile.

Joonmyeon put his face back into his hands.


End file.
